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| The Fear of Death and Judgment Called Him, Believing in the Immortality of the Soul, Back from His Wickedness, Him Who Aforetime Believed in the Opinions of Epicurus. PREVIOUS SECTION - NEXT SECTION - HELP
Chapter XVI.—The Fear of Death
and Judgment Called Him, Believing in the Immortality of the Soul,
Back from His Wickedness, Him Who Aforetime Believed in the
Opinions of Epicurus.
26. Unto Thee be praise, unto Thee be glory, O
Fountain of mercies! I became more wretched, and Thou nearer. Thy
right hand was ever ready to pluck me out of the mire, and to
cleanse me, but I was ignorant of it. Nor did anything recall me
from a yet deeper abyss of carnal pleasures, but the fear of death
and of Thy future judgment, which, amid all my fluctuations of
opinion, never left my breast. And in disputing with my friends,
Alypius and Nebridius, concerning the nature of good and evil, I
held that Epicurus had, in my judgment, won the palm, had I not
believed that after death there remained a life for the soul, and
places of recompense, which Epicurus would not believe.479
479 The ethics of Epicurus were a modified Hedonism
(Diog. Laërt. De Vitis, etc., x. 123). With him the earth
was a congeries of atoms (ibid. 38, 40), which atoms existed
from eternity, and formed themselves, uninfluenced by the
gods. The soul he held to be material. It was diffused through the
body, and was in its nature somewhat like air. At death it was
resolved into its original atoms, when the being ceased to exist
(ibid. 63, 64). Hence death was a matter of indifference to
man [ὁ θάνατος
οὐδὲν πρὸς ἡμᾶς, ibid. 124, etc.]. In that
great upheaval after the scholasticism of the Middle Ages, the
various ancient philosophies were revived. This of Epicurus was
disentombed and, as it were, vitalized by Gassendi, in the
beginning of the seventeenth century; and it has a special
importance from its bearing on the physical theories and
investigations of modern times. Archer Butler, adverting to the
inadequacy of the chief philosophical schools to satisfy the wants
of the age in the early days of the planting of Christianity
(Lectures on Ancient Philosophy, ii. 333), says of the
Epicurean: “Its popularity was unquestioned; its adaptation to a
luxurious age could not be doubted. But it was not formed to
satisfy the wants of the time, however it might minister to its
pleasures. It was, indeed, as it still continues to be, the tacit
philosophy of the careless, and might thus number a larger army of
disciples than any contemporary system. But its supremacy existed
only when it estimated numbers, it ceased when tried by
weight. The eminent men of Rome were often its avowed
favourers; but they were for the most part men eminent in arms and
statesmanship, rather than the influential directors of the world
of speculation. Nor could the admirable poetic art of Lucretius, or
the still more attractive ease of Horace, confer such strength or
dignity upon the system as to enable it to compete with the new and
mysterious elements now upon all sides gathering into
conflict.” | And I
demanded, “Supposing us to be immortal, and to be living in the
enjoyment of perpetual bodily pleasure, and that without any fear
of losing it, why, then, should we not be happy, or why should we
search for anything else?”—not knowing that even this very
thing was a part of my great misery, that, being thus sunk and
blinded, I could not discern that light
of honour and beauty to be embraced
for its own sake,480
480 See viii. sec. 17, note, below. | which cannot
be seen by the eye of the flesh, it being visible only to the inner
man. Nor did I, unhappy one, consider out of what vein it emanated,
that even these things, loathsome as they were, I with pleasure
discussed with my friends. Nor could I, even in accordance with my
then notions of happiness, make myself happy without friends, amid
no matter how great abundance of carnal pleasures. And these
friends assuredly I loved for their own sakes, and I knew myself to
be loved of them again for my own sake. O crooked ways! Woe to the
audacious soul which hoped that, if it forsook Thee, it would find
some better thing! It hath turned and returned, on hack, sides, and
belly, and all was hard,481
481 See above, iv. cc. 1, 10, and 12. | and Thou alone rest. And behold,
Thou art near, and deliverest us from our wretched wanderings, and
stablishest us in Thy way, and dost comfort us, and say, “Run; I
will carry you, yea, I will lead you, and there also will I carry
you.”
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