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| Chapter VII.—Directions for Those Who Live Together.
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Chapter VII.—Directions for Those Who Live Together.
Let us keep away from us jibing, the originator
of insult, from which strifes and contentions and enmities burst
forth. Insult, we have said, is the servant of drunkenness. A man
is judged, not from his deeds alone, but from his words. “In
a banquet,” it is said, “reprove not thy neighbour,
nor say to him a word of reproach.”1435
For if we are enjoined
especially to associate with saints, it is a sin to jibe at a saint:
“For from the mouth of the foolish,” says the Scripture,
“is a staff of insult,”1436
—meaning by staff the prop
of insult, on which insult leans and rests. Whence I admire the apostle,
who, in reference to this, exhorts us not to utter “scurrilous nor
unsuitable words.”1437
For if the assemblies at festivals take place on
account of affection, and the end of a banquet is friendliness towards
those who meet, and meat and drink accompany affection, how should not
conversation be conducted in a rational manner, and puzzling people with
questions be avoided from affection? For if we meet together for the
purpose of increasing our good-will to each other, why should we stir
up enmity by jibing? It is better to be silent than to contradict, and
thereby add sin to ignorance. “Blessed,” in truth, “is
the man who has not made a slip with his mouth, and has not been pierced
by the pain of sin;”1438
or has repented of what he has said amiss,
or has spoken so as to wound no one. On the whole, let young men and
young women altogether keep away from such festivals, that they may
not make a slip in respect to what is unsuitable. For things to which
their ears are unaccustomed, and unseemly sights, inflame the mind,
while faith within them is still wavering; and the instability of their
age conspires to make them easily carried away by lust. Sometimes also
they are the cause of others stumbling, by
displaying the dangerous
charms of their time of life. For Wisdom appears to enjoin well:
“Sit not at all with a married woman, and recline not on the
elbow with her;”1439
that is, do
not sup nor eat with her frequently. Wherefore he adds, “And do not
join company with her in wine, lest thy heart incline to her, and by thy
blood slide to ruin.”1440
For the licence of intoxication is dangerous,
and prone to deflower. And he names “a married woman,” because
the danger is greater to him who attempts to break the connubial bond.
But if any necessity arises, commanding the presence
of married women, let them be well clothed—without by raiment,
within by modesty. But as for such as are unmarried, it is the extremest
scandal for them to be present at a banquet of men, especially men under
the influence of wine. And let the men, fixing their eyes on the couch,
and leaning without moving on their elbows, be present with their ears
alone; and if they sit, let them not have their feet crossed, nor place
one thigh on another, nor apply the hand to the chin. For it is vulgar
not to bear one’s self without support, and consequently a fault
in a young man. And perpetually moving and changing one’s position
is a sign of frivolousness. It is the part of a temperate man also,
in eating and drinking, to take a small portion, and deliberately, not
eagerly, both at the beginning and during the courses, and to leave off
betimes, and so show his indifference. “Eat,” it is said,
“like a man what is set before you. Be the first to stop for the
sake of regimen; and, if seated in the midst of several people, do not
stretch out your hand before them.”1441
You must never
rush forward under the influence of gluttony; nor must you, though
desirous, reach out your hand till some time, inasmuch as by greed one
shows an uncontrolled appetite. Nor are you, in the midst of the repast,
to exhibit yourselves hugging your food like wild beasts; nor helping
yourselves to too much sauce, for man is not by nature a sauce-consumer,
but a bread-eater. A temperate man, too, must rise before the general
company, and retire quietly from the banquet. “For at the time for
rising,” it is said, “be not the last; haste home.”1442
The twelve, having called together the multitude of the disciples,
said, “It is not meet for us to leave the word of God and
serve tables.”1443
If they avoided this, much more did they shun
gluttony. And the apostles themselves, writing to the brethren at Antioch,
and in Syria and Cilicia, said: “It seemed good to the Holy Ghost,
and to us, to lay upon you no other burden than these necessary things,
to abstain from things offered to idols, and from blood, and from things
strangled, and from fornication, from which, if you keep yourselves,
ye shall do well.”1444
| 1444
Acts xv. 23, 28, 29. | But we must guard against drunkenness as
against hemlock; for both drag down to death. We must also check excessive
laughter and immoderate tears. For often people under the influence
of wine, after laughing immoderately, then are, I know not how, by some
impulse of intoxication moved to tears; for both effiminacy and violence
are discordant with the word. And elderly people, looking on the young
as children, may, though but very rarely, be playful with them, joking
with them to train them in good behaviour. For example, before a bashful
and silent youth, one might by way of pleasantry speak thus: “This
son of mine (I mean one who is silent) is perpetually talking.”
For a joke such as this enhances the youth’s modesty, by showing
the good qualities that belong to him playfully, by censure of the bad
quantities, which do not. For this device is instructive, confirming
as it does what is present by what is not present. Such, certainly,
is the intention of him who says that a water-drinker and a sober man
gets intoxicated and drunk. But if there are those who like to jest
at people, we must be silent, and dispense with superfluous words
like full cups. For such sport is dangerous. “The mouth of the
impetuous approaches to contrition.”1445
“Thou shalt not receive
a foolish report, nor shall thou agree with an unjust person to be an
unjust witness,”1446
neither in calumnies nor in
injurious speeches, much less evil practices. I also should think it
right to impose a limit on the speech of rightly regulated persons,
who are impelled to speak to one who maintains a conversation with
them. “For silence is the excellence of women, and the safe prize
of the young; but good speech is characteristic of experienced, mature
age. Speak, old man, at a banquet, for it is becoming to you. But speak
without embarrassment, and with accuracy of knowledge. Youth, Wisdom also
commands thee. Speak, if you must, with hesitation, on being twice asked;
sum up your discourse in a few words.”1447
But let both speakers
regulate their discourse according to just proportion. For loudness of
utterance is most insane; while an inaudible utterance is characteristic
of a senseless man, for people will not hear: the one is the mark of
pusillanimity, the other of arrogance. Let contentiousness in words,
for the sake of a useless triumph, be banished; for our aim is to be
free from perturbation.
Such is the meaning of the phrase,1448
“Peace to thee.” Answer not a word before you hear. An
enervated voice is the sign of effeminacy. But modulation in the voice is
characteristic of a wise man, who keeps his utterance from loudness, from
drawling, from rapidity, from prolixity. For we ought not to speak long
or much, nor ought we to speak frivolously. Nor must we converse rapidly
and rashly. For the voice itself, so to speak, ought to receive its just
dues; and those who are vociferous and clamorous ought to be silenced. For
this reason, the wise Ulysses chastised Thersites with stripes:—
“Only Thersites, with unmeasured words,
Of which he had good store, to rate the chiefs,
Not over-seemly, but wherewith he thought
To move the crowd to laughter, brawled aloud.”1449
“For dreadful in his destruction is a
loquacious man.”1450
And it is with triflers as with old shoes: all
the rest is worn away by evil; the tongue only is left for destruction.
Wherefore Wisdom gives these most useful exhortations: “Do not
talk trifles in the multitude of the elders.” Further, eradicating
frivolousness, beginning with God, it lays down the law for our regulation
somewhat thus: “Do not repeat your words in your prayer.”1451
Chirruping and whistling, and sounds made through the fingers, by which
domestics are called, being irrational signs, are to be given up by
rational men. Frequent spitting, too, and violent clearing of the throat,
and wiping one’s nose at an entertainment, are to be shunned. For
respect is assuredly to be had to the guests, lest they turn in disgust
from such filthiness, which argues want of restraint. For we are not to
copy oxen and asses, whose manger and dunghill are together. For many
wipe their noses and spit even whilst supping.
If any one is attacked with sneezing, just as in the
case of hiccup, he must not startle those near him with the explosion,
and so give proof of his bad breeding; but the hiccup is to be quietly
transmitted with the expiration of the breath, the mouth being composed
becomingly, and not gaping and yawning like the tragic masks. So
the disturbance of hiccup may be avoided by making the respirations
gently; for thus the threatening symptoms of the ball of wind will be
dissipated in the most seemly way, by managing its egress so as also to
conceal anything which the air forcibly expelled may bring up with it.
To wish to add to the noises, instead of diminishing them, is the sign
of arrogance and disorderliness. Those, too, who scrape their teeth,
bleeding the wounds, are disagreeable to themselves and detestable to
their neighbours. Scratching the ears and the irritation of sneezing
are swinish itchings, and attend unbridled fornication. Both shameful
sights and shameful conversation about them are to be shunned. Let
the look be steady, and the turning and movement of the neck, and
the motions of the hands in conversation, be decorous. In a word, the
Christian is characterized by composure, tranquillity, calmness, and
peace.1452
| 1452 [“Against such
there is no law.” Emollit
Mores, etc.] | E.C.F. INDEX & SEARCH
|
