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| A Third Kind is ‘Pride’ Which is Pleasing to Man, Not to God.
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Chapter XXXVI.—A Third Kind is
“Pride” Which is Pleasing to Man, Not to God.
58. Shall we, then, account this too amongst such
things as are to be lightly esteemed, or shall anything restore us
to hope, save Thy complete mercy, since Thou hast begun to change
us? And Thou knowest to what extent Thou hast already changed me,
Thou who first
healest me of the lust of vindicating myself, that so Thou mightest
forgive all my remaining “iniquities,” and heal all my
“diseases,” and redeem my life from corruption, and crown me
with “loving-kindness and tender mercies,” and satisfy my
desire with “good things;”947
who didst restrain my pride with
Thy fear, and subdue my neck to Thy “yoke.” And now I bear it,
and it is “light”948
unto me, because so hast Thou
promised, and made it, and so in truth it was, though I knew it
not, when I feared to take it up. But, O Lord,—Thou who alone
reignest without pride, because Thou art the only true Lord, who
hast no lord,—hath this third kind of temptation left me, or can
it leave me during this life?
59. The desire to be feared and loved of men,
with no other view than that I may experience a joy therein which
is no joy, is a miserable life, and unseemly ostentation. Hence
especially it arises that we do not love Thee, nor devoutly fear
Thee. And therefore dost Thou resist the proud, but givest grace
unto the humble;949
and Thou
thunderest upon the ambitious designs of the world, and “the
foundations of the hills” tremble.950
Because now certain offices of
human society render it necessary to be loved and feared of men,
the adversary of our true blessedness presseth hard upon us,
everywhere scattering his snares of “well done, well done;”
that while acquiring them eagerly, we may be caught unawares, and
disunite our joy from Thy truth, and fix it on the deceits of men;
and take pleasure in being loved and feared, not for Thy sake, but
in Thy stead, by which means, being made like unto him, he may have
them as his, not in harmony of love, but in the fellowship of
punishment; who aspired to exalt his throne in the north,951
that dark
and cold they might serve him, imitating Thee in perverse and
distorted ways. But we, O Lord, lo, we are Thy “little
flock;”952
do Thou
possess us, stretch Thy wings over us, and let us take refuge under
them. Be Thou our glory; let us be loved for Thy sake, and Thy word
feared in us. They who desire to be commended of men when Thou
blamest, will not be defended of men when Thou judgest; nor will
they be delivered when Thou condemnest. But when not the sinner is
praised in the desires of his soul, nor he blessed who doeth
unjustly,953
| 953 Ps. x. 3, in Vulg. and LXX. | but a man is
praised for some gift that Thou hast bestowed upon him, and he is
more gratified at the praise for himself, than that he possesses
the gift for which he is praised, such a one is praised while Thou
blamest. And better truly is he who praised than the one who was
praised. For the gift of God in man was pleasing to the one, while
the other was better pleased with the gift of man than that of
God.
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