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| Chapter VI. By what means union can be preserved unbroken.
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Chapter VI.
By what means union can be preserved unbroken.
The first foundation then, of
true friendship consists in contempt for worldly substance and scorn
for all things that we possess. For it is utterly wrong and
unjustifiable if, after the vanity of the world and all that is in it
has been renounced, whatever miserable furniture remains is more
regarded than what is most valuable; viz., the love of a brother.
The second is for each man so
to prune his own wishes that he may not imagine himself to be a wise
and experienced person, and so prefer his own opinions to those of his
neighbour. The third is for him to recognize that everything, even what
he deems useful and necessary, must come after the blessing of love and
peace. The fourth for him to realize that he should never be angry for
any reason good or bad. The fifth for him to try to cure any wrath
which a brother may have conceived against him however unreasonably, in
the same way that he would cure his own, knowing that the vexation of
another is equally bad for him, as if he himself were stirred against
another, unless he removes it, to the best of his ability, from his
brother’s mind. The last is what is undoubtedly generally
decisive in regard to all faults; viz., that he should realize daily
that he is to pass away from this world; as the realization of this not
only permits no vexation to linger in the heart, but also represses all
the motions of lusts and sins of all kinds. Whoever then has got hold
of this, can neither suffer nor be the cause of bitter wrath and
discord. But when this fails, as soon as he who is jealous of love has
little by little infused the poison of vexation in the hearts of
friends, it is certain that owing to frequent quarrels love will
gradually grow cool, and at sometime or other he will part the hearts
of the lovers, that have been for a long while exasperated. For if one
is walking along the course previously marked out, how can he ever
differ from his friend, for if he claims nothing for himself, he
entirely cuts off the first cause of quarrel (which generally springs
from trivial things and most unimportant matters), as he observes to
the best of his power what we read in the Acts of the Apostles on the
unity of believers: “But the multitude of believers was of one
heart and soul; neither did any of them say that any of the things
which he possessed was his own, but they had all things
common.”1968
Then how can
any seeds of discussion arise from him who serves not his own but his
brother’s will, and becomes a follower of his Lord and Master,
who speaking in the character1969
| 1969 Ex persona.
See note on VIII. xxxv. | of man which He
had taken, said: “I am not come to do Mine own will, but the will
of Him that sent Me?”1970
But how can he
arouse any incitement to contention, who has determined to trust not so
much to his own judgment as to his brother’s decision, on his own
intelligence and meaning, in accordance with his will either approving
or disapproving his discoveries, and fulfilling in the humility of a
pious heart these words from the Gospel: “Nevertheless, not as I
will, but as Thou wilt.”1971
Or in what way
will he admit anything which grieves the brother, who thinks that
nothing is more precious than the blessing of peace, and never forgets
these words of the Lord: “By this shall all men know that ye are
My disciples, that ye love one another;”1972
for by this, as by a special mark,
Christ willed that the flock of His sheep should be known in this
world, and be separated from all others by this stamp, so to speak? But
on what grounds will he endure either to admit the rancour of vexation
in himself or for it to remain in another, if his firm decision is that
there cannot be any good ground for anger, as it is dangerous and
wrong, and that when his broker is angry with him he cannot pray, in
just the same way as when he himself is angry with his brother, as he
ever keeps in an humble heart these words of our Lord and Saviour:
“If thou bring thy gift to the altar and there remember that thy
brother hath aught against thee, leave there thy gift at the altar, and
go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer
thy gift.”1973
For it will be
of no use for you to declare that you are not angry, and to believe
that you are fulfilling the command which says: “Let not the sun
go down upon thy wrath;” and: “Whosoever is angry with his
brother, shall be in danger of the judgment,”1974
if you are with obstinate heart
disregarding the vexation of another which you could smooth down by
kindness on your part. For in the same way you will be punished for
violating the Lord’s command. For He who said that you should not
be angry with another, said also that you should not disregard the
vexations of another, for it makes no difference in the sight of God,
“Who willeth all men to be saved,”1975
whether you destroy yourself or someone else. Since the death of any
one is equally a loss to God, and at the same time it is equally a gain
to him to whom all destruction is delightful, whether it is acquired by
your death or by the death of your brother. Lastly, how can he retain
even the least vexation with his brother, who realizes daily that he is
presently to depart from this world?E.C.F. INDEX & SEARCH
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