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| In the Nineteenth Year of His Age (His Father Having Died Two Years Before) He is Led by the ‘Hortensius’ Of Cicero to ‘Philosophy,’ To God, and a Better Mode of Thinking. PREVIOUS SECTION - NEXT SECTION - HELP
Chapter IV.—In the Nineteenth
Year of His Age (His Father Having Died Two Years Before) He is Led
by the “Hortensius” Of Cicero to “Philosophy,” To God, and
a Better Mode of Thinking.
7. Among such as these, at that unstable
period of my life, I studied books of eloquence, wherein I was
eager to be eminent from a damnable and inflated purpose, even a
delight in human vanity. In the ordinary course of study, I lighted
upon a certain book of Cicero, whose language, though not his
heart, almost all admire. This book of his contains an exhortation
to philosophy, and is called Hortensius. This book, in
truth, changed my affections, and turned my prayers to Thyself, O
Lord, and made me have other hopes and desires. Worthless suddenly
became every vain hope to me; and, with an incredible warmth of
heart, I yearned for an immortality of wisdom,224
224 Up to the time of Cicero the Romans employed the
term sapientia for
φιλοσοφία (Monboddo’s Ancient Metaphys. i. 5). It is
interesting to watch the effect of the philosophy in which they had
been trained on the writings of some of the Fathers. Even Justin
Martyr, the first after the “Apostolic,” has traces of this
influence. See the account of his search for “wisdom,” and
conversion, in his Dialogue with Trypho, ii. and iii. | and began
now to arise225 that I might
return to Thee. Not, then, to improve my language—which I
appeared to be purchasing with my mother’s means, in that my
nineteenth year, my father having died two years before—not to
improve my language did I have recourse to that book; nor did it
persuade me by its style, but its matter.
8. How ardent was I then, my God, how ardent
to fly from earthly things to Thee! Nor did I know how Thou wouldst
deal with me. For with Thee is wisdom. In Greek the love of wisdom
is called “philosophy,”226 with which that book inflamed me.
There be some who seduce through philosophy, under a great, and
alluring, and honourable name colouring and adorning their own
errors. And almost all who in that and former times were such, are
in that book censured and pointed out. There is also disclosed that
most salutary admonition of Thy Spirit, by Thy good and pious
servant: “Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and
vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the
world, and not after Christ: for in Him dwelleth all the fulness of
the Godhead bodily.”227 And since at that time (as Thou, O
Light of my heart, knowest) the words of the apostle were unknown
to me, I was delighted with that exhortation, in so far only as I
was thereby stimulated, and enkindled, and inflamed to love, seek,
obtain, hold, and embrace, not this or that sect, but wisdom
itself, whatever it were; and this alone checked me thus ardent,
that the name of Christ was not in it. For this name, according to
Thy mercy, O Lord, this name of my Saviour Thy Son, had my tender
heart piously drunk in, deeply treasured even with my mother’s
milk; and whatsoever was without that name, though never so
erudite, polished, and truthful, took not complete hold of
me.
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