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| Seized by Disease, His Mother Being Troubled, He Earnestly Demands Baptism, Which on Recovery is Postponed—His Father Not as Yet Believing in Christ. PREVIOUS SECTION - NEXT SECTION - HELP
Chapter XI.—Seized by Disease,
His Mother Being Troubled, He Earnestly Demands Baptism, Which on
Recovery is Postponed—His Father Not as Yet Believing in
Christ.
17. Even as a boy I had heard of eternal life
promised to us through the humility of the Lord our God
condescending to our pride, and I was signed with the sign of the
cross, and was seasoned with His salt161
161 “A rite in the Western churches, on admission as
a catechumen, previous to baptism, denoting the purity and
uncorruptedness and discretion required of Christians. See S. Aug.
De Catechiz. rudib. c. 26; Concil. Carth. 3, can. 5; and
Liturgies in Assem. Cod. Liturg. t. i.”—E. B. P. See
also vi. 1, note, below. | even from the womb of my mother,
who greatly trusted in Thee. Thou sawest, O Lord, how at one time,
while yet a boy, being suddenly seized with pains in the stomach,
and being at the point of death—Thou sawest, O my God, for even
then Thou wast my keeper, with what emotion of mind and with what
faith I solicited from the piety of my mother, and of Thy Church,
the mother of us all, the baptism of Thy Christ, my Lord and my
God. On which, the mother of my flesh being much troubled,—since
she, with a heart pure in Thy faith, travailed in birth162 more
lovingly for my eternal salvation,—would, had I not quickly
recovered, have without delay provided for my initiation and
washing by Thy life-giving sacraments, confessing Thee, O Lord
Jesus, for the remission of sins. So my cleansing was deferred, as
if I must needs, should I live, be further polluted; because,
indeed, the guilt contracted by sin would, after baptism, be
greater and more perilous.163
163 Baptism was in those days frequently (and for
similar reasons to the above) postponed till the hour of death
approached. The doctors of the Church endeavoured to discourage
this, and persons baptized on a sick-bed (“clinically”) were,
if they recovered, looked on with suspicion. The Emperor
Constantine was not baptized till the close of his life, and he is
censured by Dr. Newman (Arians iii. sec. 1) for presuming to
speak of questions which divided the Arians and the Orthodox as
“unimportant,” while he himself was both unbaptized and
uninstructed. On the postponing of baptism with a view to
unrestrained enjoyment of the world, and on the severity of the
early Church towards sins committed after baptism, see Kaye’s
Tertullian, pp. 234–241. | Thus I at that time believed with
my mother and the whole house, except my father; yet he did not
overcome the influence of my mother’s piety in me so as to
prevent my believing in Christ, as he had not yet believed in Him.
For she was desirous that Thou, O my God, shouldst be my Father
rather than he; and in this Thou didst aid her to overcome her
husband, to whom, though the better of the two, she yielded
obedience, because in this she yielded obedience to Thee, who dost
so command.
18. I beseech Thee, my God, I would gladly know, if
it be Thy will, to what end my baptism was then deferred? Was it
for my good that the reins were slackened, as it were, upon me for
me to sin? Or were they not slackened? If not, whence comes it that
it is still dinned into our ears on all sides, “Let him alone,
let him act as he likes, for he is not yet baptized”? But as
regards bodily health, no one exclaims, “Let him be more
seriously wounded, for he is not yet cured!” How much better,
then, had it been for me to have been cured at once; and then, by
my own and my friends’ diligence, my soul’s restored health had
been kept safe in Thy keeping, who gavest it! Better, in truth. But
how numerous and great waves of temptation appeared to hang over me
after my childhood! These were foreseen by my mother; and she
preferred that the unformed clay should be exposed to them rather
than the image itself.
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